bambina writes: Textual Harassment

With barely five days to go before the elections, I remain undecided. The problem is, everybody wants to rule the world, but frankly, most of them should be running for pale shelter.

Yes, it’s a mad world, especially during election season. Welcome to the Philippines, the love child of Borat and Kafka, where midgets reign and dicks join in the parade, where pint-sized warlords with gold rings on their pudgy fingers keep tigers as pets or gun down political rivals like Rambo on crystal meth, and the clergy stick their noses into their flock’s reproductive activities as they stick their fingers into government coffers by way of indiscreetly dispensed funds from presidential lackeys, then claim moral superiority.

To add to the circus freak show that is the Philippine presidential elections, we have, in this corner, an ageing ex-president convicted of plunder, seeking vindication; a self-made millionaire who claimed to have swum in a river of garbage but somehow forgot to brush it off his body when he got out, seeking a return on his investment; a self-styled independent thinker, former protégé of a kingmaker, seeking the support of the electorate that his own party denied him; and an erstwhile mama’s boy hounded by allegations of autism and depression, seeking validation that mother knew best all along.

Facetiousness aside, I really don't know who to vote for amongst this stellar line-up. At least I know who gets my vote for Vice-President: Mar Roxas.

In fact, if it were possible, I would just vote Mar-Mar. Easier and less confusing.

But I'm not voting, because, to my chagrin, I missed the boat for overseas registration. I've never voted in my life, and I particularly wanted to vote in these elections, because it is my generation now at the helm, and a change in the political system is long overdue after two and a bit years of "isa pa ngang Johnny Walker Blue" and nine years of the prime example of "galing and talino", not to mention "sipag at tiyaga" proving to be an utter farce without true integrity. And as farces go, it had its Garci moments, but in the end, it wasn't really all that entertaining. Just look where we are today as a nation.

And, as a nation that loves texting and social media, it's not surprising that much of the campaigning was done via text, Twitter and Facebook.

For some reason I am on Loren Legarda's text list - I know, because the same mobile number +639064978525) that sent me some Christmas message from the Senator also sends me, almost on a daily basis, text messages vilifying Mar Roxas at every possible opportunity.

The messages arrive most annoyingly in the early morning, and in a deep Tagalog I cannot always read through and in fact give up reading after a few lines.

Such as this, on April 30, 2010, 7:51 AM

Aping magsasaka sumugod sa bahay ni Mar para isigaw ang poot 2ngkol sa lupang dapa'y kanila na ayaw bitawan ng pamilyang Roxas-Araneta! Mar anti-poor ka talaga!

Sorry Loren, but you lost me at "poot".

I've received tons more, about Mar's cheap drugs policy, the drug addicts in his family, his elitist background, etc, etc, ad nauseam.

Then, the minute Jojo Binay's ratings began to climb in the polls, I got this, on May 2, 2010, 6:01 AM

Totoo bang may mga sample balots sa Mindanao Noy-Binay? Hindi maitanggi ni Binay ito. Kawawa nmn si Erap. Laging biktima ng kataksilan.

Wise words from the Turncoat Queen herself!

I'm filing for textual harassment.