This was a question published recently in Parade magazine from a reader named Mike Waldo:
Ike Turner died of a cocaine overdose. Did ex-wife Tina attend the funeral?
I don't read Parade magazine, but California writer Tod Goldberg does, if only to lambaste the idiotic letters sent in by clueless readers. Tod Goldberg's blog, which I absolutely adore, is not for the faint-hearted. Punctuated with f-words, it seethes with his vicious brand of satire, aimed mainly at the inanity of pop culture. His main mission - admittedly futile and quixotic - is to rid the world of what he calls "fucktards". And for some reason, he believes, the readership of Parade magazine is awash with such fucktards.
Some people get Tod Goldberg, some people don't. I mean, he opened this particular post, which he titled Letters to Parade: And When She Gets To Heaven, Will She Let Ike Burn Her With His Crack Pipe? with an aside about Heath Ledger:
I was frankly stunned to open Parade this week and not find a cover story on how well Heath Ledger's been sleeping lately...
Yes it's in terrible taste, but I couldn't stop laughing. And then there's his answer to Mike Waldo's question about whether Tina Turner attended Ike's funeral:
Let's see, Mike: Say someone you were married to beat the shit out of you for years, so that your face didn't even look the same anymore, so that the relationship and the beatings became so notorious that they made a fucking movie about it, do you think you'd go to that person's funeral? (Oh, and pretend you're a woman. If it helps, put on some heals, a little skirt, and sing "What's Love Got To Do With It" while shaking your ass through the streets of New York...okay...done? Great.) What kind of absolute fucktard would even ask that question? What kind of fucktard could imagine she would go? I mean, Mike, really, what the fuck is wrong with you? In twenty words or less, what the fuck is wrong with you?
Of course Tod Goldberg could have been more, um, sensitive and chosen to answer in Oprah-esque language. He could have said, well, Ike didn't honor Tina when he was alive, so why should she honor him now that he's dead?
But I like his answer better.